Is that proscuitto?

Virus free mother fucker. Well, it's gone from my throat at least. Other viruses I'm not so sure about. I only say this because I'm having more and more awesome unprotected sex. It's awesome only that it feels good, but it's such a dumb practice especially if you're adding multiple partners into the equation.

Speaking of other things viral... the consumerist bug is hitting me hard this week. But to be fair to myself, and alleviate some guilt, I am buying a few things because some of my stuff is breaking.

The big two: new laptop, and new phone. The laptop I don't feel too guilty about because this thing is over 10 years old and is starting to act stupid. I'm one of 4 people in the world that still burns cds, therefore a busted cd drive is a big deal to me.

The phone keeps shutting off on me which is very annoying especially if I'm trying to navigate my hits of risky unprotected sex. Phone, why are you cockblocking?

negative

That's what the Doctor told me a few days ago and the nurse who called me a few hours ago. Normally "negative" is a joyous word that replenishes hope and potential rather than make you instantly depressed. HIV test = negative = you feeling like you've won the fucking lottery.
Pregnancy test = negative = you feeling like you've won the fucking lottery, but in a literal sense because of how much money you save in a period of time.

My negative results = your strep throat isn't bacterial, it's viral so you're gonna have to wait this one out. ERGG

There's a certain interesting delirium that comes with the onset exhaustion illnesses like these. Out of nowhere my muscles are sore and I can nod off whenever. I also have wicked mucuous that's thick and brown.

I'm gonna go read now.